


Orc-Slaying Ditty, The

by HASA_Archivist



Category: The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: First Age, Hideous orc gore. Hideous spider gore., Other - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-17
Updated: 2004-02-29
Packaged: 2018-03-23 09:18:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3762706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HASA_Archivist/pseuds/HASA_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>*Sigh* This is my entry for the drinking song challenge. I blame Marta, who flattered me into promising to write one in a moment of weakness.</p><p>Warning: Hideous orc gore. Hideous spider gore.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Orc-Slaying Ditty

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the HASA Transition Team: This story was originally archived at [HASA](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Henneth_Ann%C3%BBn_Story_Archive), which closed in February 2015. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in February 2015. We posted announcements about the move, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact The HASA Transition Team using the e-mail address on the [HASA collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hasa/profile).

This song is based on a verse from my fic _Flawed and Fair_ , in which the guards of Gondolin get plastered and remember the old days, when they actually got to go out and kill things. And then they sing. To quote myself:

_Ecthelion [...] had never understood why drunken singing had to be so very bad. [...] Most of the favoured songs either had a hideous nonsensical refrain, or mentioned dead orcs. Or, in some truly unredeemable cases, both._

Enjoy.

*****  
The Orc-Slaying Ditty  
(As sung by the Gondolindrim)  
*****

Our arrows are flying,  
Our swords brightly glowing.  
The Orcs are all dying!  
Their black blood is flowing!  
O! Tril-lil-lil-leelly,  
Their blood's flowing freely!  
Ha! Ha!

The orcs are all dropping!  
Once their blood starts gushing,  
Orc limbs need some chopping,  
Orc heads need some crushing!  
O! Tril-lil-lil-lelly,  
Their brains turn to jelly!  
Ha! Ha!

 

Oh, we love patrolling!  
Oh, truly 'tis thrilling,  
When orc heads are rolling!  
No joy like orc-killing!  
O! Tril-lil-lil-lolly,  
To slay orcs is jolly!  
Ha! Ha!

 


	2. The Spider-Slaying Ditty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *Sigh* This is my entry for the drinking song challenge. I blame Marta, who flattered me into promising to write one in a moment of weakness.

One of my Gondolindrim has written his own version of the Ditty, all about the giant spiders in the Valley of Dreadful Death. I think it is far inferior to the original, but it actually mentions drinking, so here it is:

***  
The Spider-Slaying Ditty  
(As sung by Egalmoth of the Heavenly Arch)  
***

 

 

The spiders are reeking!  
They beg for a thrashing!  
They'll die with much shrieking,  
Once our blades start slashing!  
O! Tril-lil-lil-lelly,  
Giant spiders are smelly!  
Ha! Ha!

Our bright blades are stabbing!  
The spiders -- expiring!  
This feinting and jabbing,  
I find it quite tiring!  
O! Tril-lil-lil-lally,  
Down there in the valley!  
Ha! Ha!

The spiders are dying,  
And still they keep stinking!  
It's really quite trying,  
I'd rather be drinking!  
O! Tril-lil-lil-lilly,  
This song is quite silly!  
Ha! Ha!

Here's hoping I never feel inspired to spoof that particular song again.


End file.
